Love Is Brutal and Love Is Its Balm
by AurumWolf21
Summary: They were suppose to go for drinks except he never showed and then he didn't come in for work...very angsty in the beginning it's rocky in the beginning then gets much better later I promise! This summary sucks so please forgive me and R
1. Chapter 1

It had been another long day at the Lightman Group and Cal was exhausted. He'd just finished working a very highpaying case with Gillian but the case had been very difficult and it had gotten a little more personal for Cal than he'd have liked. Recently there had been someone working for the FBI who had been sending intel and money to the Russian Mafia. At first this case seemed like any other extremely dangerous case Cal and Gillian had worked. That was until they Cal found out that the mole was working for Nick Matthews. Back when Cal still lived in London he and Terry had gotten into trouble with Nick, or rather Terry had gotten into trouble and Cal had been dragged along. Nick Matthews alone was a very dangerous man with lots of control over the crime in London, but with a high ranking position in the Mafia he was even more dangerous. Things weren't good if Matthews had people in the U.S government. And Cal couldn't help but feel a bit paranoid that Nick was onto him. Cal and Gillian closed the case in record time, partly because Cal didn't want to attract any more attention to himself by playing his usual mind games. Cal shivered in shi chair, something just didn't feel right and it was starting to bother him. Just then Gillian walked into his office.

"Hey luv."

"Hey Cal."

Gillian noticed how different Cal had acted during their last case but she didn't know why he was acting that way. There had even been a few times when she thought she saw fear in his eyes, but she couldn't bring herself to believe that Cal was afraid so she dismissed it.

"Fancy a drink later luv?"

"Sure where?"

"Uh how 'bout Louie's Bar right by my house. They've got great burgers and some damn good scotch."

"Alright I'll see you in bit."

Gillian left Cal smiling after her, God how he loved her, but he could never tell her, not with the bloody line in the way. Soon after Gillian left Cal grabbed his coat and headed out to his car. As he was making his way across the parking lot Cal decided that enough was enough, he was tired of dancing around the line, tonight he'd cross it, tonight he'd tell her. Just as he was about to get into the car Cal felt a sharp pain come from his back and then he collapsed.


	2. Chapter 2

**I forgot to put the disclaimer up on the first chappie so I'm doing it now. As much as I'd luv to own Lie To Me Tim Roth/Cal Lightman and the rest of the cast I don't. -_- Anyway I hope you are enjoying next chappie will be up soon I hope.**

It was now 7:30 and Gillian was still waiting for Cal at the bar, he was now an hour late.

"Hey you've been here a while, something bad happen?"

Gillian gave the bartender a sad smile.

"I don't know."

"Here why don't I get you something on the house."

Gillian smiled graciously and asked for a scotch on the rocks. When the bartender came back with her drink he gave her a smile that was a little more than friendly, Gillian smiled back politely, not encouraging him. As Gillian sipped her scotch she looked around, there were several guys, handsome ones too, who kept sending her all the right signals but she returned none of them. _Why don't I let them make a move? I've been divorced for about a year now. What's stopping me? _She thought to herself, it just didn't make sense. _Because you're already in love. _Gillian was shocked at her own internal response. _That's impossible, I haven't even started dating again. _She told herself, contemplating whether or not it was good to be having a conversation with herself. _Don't deny it you know exactly who you've fallen for. He's sweet, makes you smile, annoys the hell out of you, knows you better than anyone, he can be a complete utter jerk and he's the sexiest man you've ever seen. _Gillian just sat there in shock, where was she coming up with this? _Do you still not know? Have you just given up on him, are you that deep in denial? It's Cal you dope, you love him and you know that you wouldn't be able to live life without him! _It hit Gillian hard as she realized just how right her inner voice was. She'd tell him, she'd tell him tonight, to hell with the line. Now if only he'd show up. Another 2 hours past and Cal still hadn't showed, he hadn't even called. Sighing Gillian got up and headed for her car, she was worried, for some reason she felt that something was wrong. Without a moments hesitation Gillian drove to Cal's house, his car wasn't there and the lights were off. With her panic rising she drove back to the office hoping with her entire being that Cal was there. When Gillian got back to the Lightman Group she saw his car in its spot and some of the panic lifted. Then she looked up at his office, the light wasn't on. Whatever panic that had lifted quickly came back and multiplied two fold. As if her life depended on it Gillian ran up to the doors, they were locked. Frantically Gillian got her key out and opened the doors. She immediately went to his office, the lights were off. She turned the lights on and saw that his phone was on his desk in exactly the same place it had been when she had been there earlier that evening. Sobbing now Gillian took out her phone and called Ben.

"Hello?"

"Ben! Oh Ben he's gone! Something's happened! He's Gone!"

"Whoa, whoa hold on Foster. What's wrong, who's gone?"

"Dammit Ben Cal! Cal's gone, something happened to Cal!"

"What do you mean Foster? What happened?"

"We were supposed to go for drinks tonight but he never showed, that was four hours ago. He's not home. I'm at the office, his car is here and so is his phone but he isn't!"

"Foster it's ok, why don't you get some sleep, something probably came up. You said his phone is there so he probably forgot it and couldn't call."

"But then why is his car still here?"

"I don't know Foster, don't worry he'll probably show up in the morning, just get some sleep."

Gillian, still shaking ended the call and walked to her office where she locked the door, collappsed onto her couch and after several hours of tossing and turning she finally fell asleep. She woke up at 9 the next morning, she could hear the buzz of activity outside her door. With a start she lept off of her couch and without even checking herself to see if she was presentable she rushed to Cal's office. Checking the time she realized that it was now an hour and a half past the lateset time he'd ever shown up for work, he'd better be in his office. Gillian barged into Cal's office, it was empty. Frantically Gillian ran into his study and to her despair it was empty as well. Gillian stumbled to the couch in his study and began crying. Cal was missing, after all the times he'd been there for her whether she wanted him there or not and now when she had been about to tell him she loved him he was gone. After allowing herself a few moments to collect herself she pulled out her phone and called Ben.

"Hello?"

"Ben, he's still not here. The latest he's ever come in to work is 7:30. I don't care what you think Ben but something's wrong."

Ben knew she'd been crying but that wasn't because of her voice. Her voice emmitted nothing but strength and determination. No he could tell because even if he wasn't trained in deception detection or behavioral analysis he could tell that Gillian loved Cal and Cal loved her back.

"Alright Foster, I'll be in in 10 minutes ok? We can talk then."

"Ok."

With that Ben hung up, he wasn't all that worried, not after the way he'd seen Cal in Vegas. Cal was somewhat impulsive and he loved danger but somewhere deep down Ben was starting to feel a little bit of what Gillian had been feeling, fear. Ben was at the Lightman Group in 10 minutes just as promised. When he was inside he started towards Gillian's office then stopped short and started heading towards Cal's office instead, something told him that she'd be in there. Sure enough when he got to Cal's office she was sitting on the couch in his study.

"Alright Foster what's up. Tell me what happened."

Just as Gillian was about to tell Reynolds why she thought something was wrong Ria walked in.

"Dr. Foster, there's something you need to see."

"Not now Ria, I'm a little busy."

Gillian hadn't even looked at Ria when she spoke, if she had she would've gone with her right away.

"Gillian."

Gillian looked at Ria, surprised that she'd used her first name.

"It's about Dr. Lightman."

* * *

**So yeah the next chapter is going to be sad, I have it kind of written down I just have to type but I'm having some computer issues so yea. The next chapter's genre will be due to the fact that I had a very lonely, depressing and overall horrible Valentine's Day. R and R Please Because rewiews are what keep me going and they'll chappies out there for you to read sooner ;)**


	3. Chapter 3

Gillian practically jumped off the couch and was by Ria in seconds.

"What is it? Is he ok? What happened?"

Ria wanted to look into Gillian's eyes but found that she couldn't so she looked down from Gillian's pleading gaze, her eyes hoping that everything would be ok. Ria couldn't promise her that.

"I…Dr. Foster…We need to get to the A/V room, now."

Gillian tried to look at Ria's face but Ria had turned around so quickly that she didn't have the chance. All she could do was follow with Ben close on their heals. Once they reached the A/V room Gillian saw Loker sitting in front of a computer and on the projector screen was a live video feed of a man sitting on a chair with a black hood over his head.

"Oh my God is that Cal?!"

Loker turned around to see Gillian standing with her hand at her mouth and a macro expression of fear plastered to her face.

"Ah I see that the wonderful Gillian Foster has finally joined us."

The smooth, cold, cruel voice sent shivers down Gillian's spine and she saw a tall man dressed in a nice gray suit with a mask over his face step into view.

"I wanted you here to see this."

"To see what? What do you want? If this is ransom then name your price."

Gillian put on her mask of perfessionalism and attempted to be strong.

"Gill, luv? Is that you?"

Ria, Eli, hell even Ben could see Gillian crumble at the sound of Cal's voice. He sounded worn and in pain.

"Cal, oh Cal, yes it's me."

"Dammit you filthy, rotten son-of-a-bi-

Just then the man dressed in the gray suit walked up to Cal and hit him in his jaw. Cal gave a grunt of pain and then his tormentor pulled the hood off of Cal. Cal's eyes found his tormentor's first and there was nothing but pure rage burning in them.

"Now, now Cal that's not anyway to talk to your superiors. You see I thought Gillian would like to see what I have planned for you."

Cal looked away and through the video feed he found Gillian's eyes.

"Ben get her out of here now, get her the bloody hell out of her Now!"

Ben made to try to get Gillian out of the room but was stopped by a voice.

"Uh-uh she stays or he dies."

Now that Gillian could really see Cal she had to fight to keep her composure. He had a nasty bruise on the side of his face and his eyes looked dull and sad.

"Why are you doing this?"

Gillian was desperately trying to find out as much as she could, maybe if he let something slip they'd be able to save Cal.

"Oh would you look at that Cal. She really is a smart one isn't she mate. Tryin' to get information from me, she tryin' to save you eh?"

Gillian looked shocked and Cal looked murderous even in his beaten state.

"Well I'm doin' this for revenge."

Gillian thought frantically even though he'd seen through her small talk she still hoped she could find something out.

"Who are you?"

Even from under the mask the man was wearing you could see him smirk with contempt.

"I'm an old friend of Cal's. We go way back, used to be the best of mates before he dissapeared to America."

Ria, Gillian and Loker could see through the man's lie. This man had never been friends with Cal, as a matter of fact, according to the intense contempt they felt for each other Cal and this mysterious man had always hated each other.

"Well Gillian this little meeting is drawing to a close and I really must apologize to you. I never really meant to hurt you but you see hurting you is the easiest, fastest and best way to hurt Cal. Your little FBI friend won't have to worry about putting you, Cal's daughter or his ex-wife under protective custody, after today you won't hear from me again."

"What do you mean? If you want anything we'll give it."

The man ignored Gillian's plea and instead turned to Cal.

"Stand up."

Cal obliged and someone from behind took Cal's chair away and moved it out of view. Then the man in the gray suit pulled out a gleaming black pistol.

"No!"

Gillian screamed before she could stop herself. Cal looked up at her, pain and sorrow evident on his features.

"Any last words mate?"

"Gillian, luv, take care of Emily, tell her, I love her. Everyone, Gillian, I'm so sorry."

"How touching I hope you guys caught that and are recording the final words of the infamous Dr. Cal Lightman."

Cal just kept on looking into Gillian's eyes and let all of his masks down, letting her see the love and adoration he'd always felt for her. Gillian felt the tears starting to fall as she saw what Cal was showing her. Then she heard a loud bang. There was a moment of surprise then pain that flashed across Cal's face then he fell back onto the ground. The camera zoomed in on Cal as he lay there dying, blood pooling beneath him, pouring from his stomach were he'd been shot. Cal coughed blood, then said something that was almost inaudible to Gillian yet it was oh so clear.

"Goodbye luv."

Then the camera zoomed back out and focused on the man dressed in his elegant gray suit.

"Happy Valentine's Day Gillian!"

Then the screen went dark, the video terminated. All four of the room's occupants stood rooted to the floor. It was Gillian who broke the silience.

"We need to call Emily, she's in school right now. We, I have to tell her that, that he's, that he's gone."

Ben left and got Emily. They were back in 20 minutes. When Emily walked into the A/V room followed by Ben she could see Ria sitting in a chair with a haunted expression, Eli sitting at the computer, frozen, staring at the screen and Gillian sitting in a chair with a pained look, no pained didn't do how she looked justice, Gillian Foster looked destroyed.

"What's wrong? Ben didn't tell me anything he just said we had to get here as soon as possible."

Emily looked frightened, her big brown eyes finding Gillian's blue ones.

"Em, come her sweetie. I…I'm sorry Em but…Cal, your father…he's gone…he's dead…they shot him over live video feed. I'm so sorry Em."

Emily sunk into Gillian's embrace and cried into Gillian's neck. Gillian crying as well, soaking Emily's hair. Ria looked at the two and couldn't believe what had just happened in less than an hour. In less than an hour her day had been turned upside down, her boss, the amazing, infamous, invincible, renown Dr. Cal Lightman had been shot and killed and she hadn't been able to do a thing about it. Ria shook her head as if trying to wake herself from a bad dream. There was no way Cal Lightaman, expert in deception detection, and her mentor had just been killed. But she had seen the bullet enter and leave his stomach, seen the blood pool beneath him and hear him utter his last words meant only for Gillian. Then Ria began to cry as well, Cal Lightman was dead.


	4. Chapter 4

It had been almost a year since Cal had been shot and Emily and Gillian were closer than ever. Emily stopped by at least three times a week and Zoë even let Emily stay overnight at Gillian's house. It seemed that Zoë had finally realized that it was best for Emily if she let them get together and that it wasn't really Gillian's fault that Zoë's and Cal's marriage had fallen apart. Gillian had kept the Lightman Group running, had kept it the Lightman Group and had made sure that Cal's office remained untouched. It was 6:30 and Gillian was just getting ready to leave her office when her office phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Gillian?"

"Oh. My. God."

Gillian nearly dropped the phone.

"Gillian luv, I know you want to talk and believe me so do I but right now I need you to call Ben and have him wait for me at the airport. I'm at the airport in London, I'm getting on the next flight out of here. I'll be at the airport by the office in a few hours. Ok luv? I know you must be in shock but I need you to do this for me and then get Emily by you too, have Zoë put under protection and I don't want you to leave the building at all ok luv. I promise I'm alright, I'll see you in a few hours."

Gillian almost started crying.

"Ok Cal, ok, oh my God I'm so happy to hear your voice again."

On the other line from the airport Cal smiled wearily.

"It's good to hear your voice to luv, I'll see you soon."


	5. Chapter 5

As soon as Cal hung up the phone Gillian called Ben.

"Hello?"

For a moment it was like deja vu for Gillian, she'd called Ben exactly a year ago when Cal hadn't showed up for drinks.

"Ben, it's me Gillian. Listen Cal just called me and he wants you to get Emily and bring her over here to the office, have Zoë put under protection and then he wants you to meet him at the airport near the office in a few hours, he's coming in from London."

"Wait, hold on Gillian. You said he called you? Gillian that's impossible he's dead, remember? We watched him get shot and fall. Are you sure it wasn't someone else?"

"I could never forget Cal's voice Ben and if you don't believe me then you can come over and check, we record all of our office phone conversations."

"Alright Gillian I believe you, I made the mistake before of not believing you and look where that ended up. I'll go get Emily, do you know where she is?"

"Ben you know I don't blame you for not believing me, you were using logic and Cal is prone to disappearing like that, you're not to blame for being the only one of us thinking straight that night. Anyway I think Emily is staying at a friend's house tonight, the address is 1253 North Beachview."

"Ok I'll go get her then I'll head over to the airport to get him."

"Thank you Ben."

Gillian hung up and Ben sighed. After taking a minute to finish the beer he had just opened in preparation of sitting down and watching the football game he'd recorded then headed to his car and began driving towards Emily's friend's house. It didn't take him long to get there, especially with the built in navigation system on his car. The house he pulled up to was of a respectable size, and Ben gave a sigh of relief as he noticed that Emily hadn't picked tonight to have a party at her friend's house. He got out of the car, walked up the driveway, went up to the door and knocked. A nice looking blonde woman opened the door.

"May I help you?"

"Yes, is Emily here?"

After hanging around the Lightman Group for so long Ben had picked up a few things and read the woman's hesitation.

"My name is Ben Reynolds, I'm with the FBI and I work with Gillian at the Lightman Group. Tell her we're out of orange slushies and romance novels and they are currently having a sale at the store."

The woman looked at Ben incredously.

"Please ma'am just tell her, she'll know what it means."

The woman nodded then went back inside the house, up the stairs and into her daughter's room where her daughter and Emily were watching a movie.

"Hey sorry to interupt but there's a guy from the FBI outside for you Emily. He told me to tell you that they're out of orange slushies and romance novels and that there is currently a sale going on at the store. He said you'd know what it means."

Emily looked at her friend, Rachel's mom in surprise. That code was something Emily, Gillian, Ben, Eli, Ria, and her dad had made a long time ago. It was code for there was an emergency and they had to leave now. Her dad had thought it up. If there were no orange slushies or no romance novels Gillian would be distraught, and in her father's eyes a distraught Gillian was cause for an emergency in which nothing else mattered but pleasing Gillian. Then of course if there was a sale at a store of the said items they'd have to go right away to get the items before they sold out.

"I'm so sorry but I have to go, uh I'll see you later. If I'm not at school tomorrow can you tell our teachers that it's family business and there should be a note explaining why I'm not there soon."

"Yeah sure, are you alright Emily?"

"Yeah I just have to go like right now."

Emily smiled a fake smile then quickly grabbed all of her stuff she'd unpacked, repacked it then followed Rachel's mom downstairs. Once they were downstairs Rachel's mom opened the door and Emily smiled at Ben.

"Hey Ben, so you said there was a sale?"

"Yup, a big one too, something like 95% off on any romance novel according to Gillian."

Emily nodded once then made to leave the house when she stopped and turned to Rachel's mom.

"I'm sorry for leaving like this but I have to go, thank you for letting me stay."

"Of course honey, just take care."

"I will bye."

Emily waved then practically ran to Ben's car. There was a second part to their code, one that stated just how big of an emergency the situation was, the higher the percentage number the bigger the emergency. A few minutes later Ben was in the car and driving.

"What happened Ben, sorry if I'm being a little weird but you've got to realized that the last time we used that code you drove me to the office only for me to find out that my dad was dead."

"Yeah well I'll let Gillian explain, I promise it'll be good news this time. She just called me not to long ago and told me to get you. Listen I'm going to drop you off at the office then I gotta go and then I'll be right back."

Emily just nodded, sat back and watched the lights fly by.

"Y'know it's probably a good thing you were having a sleep over tonight, something tells me you won't be leaving the office for a while."

Emily looked over at Reynolds in confusion and he shrugged as if in apology. They arrived at the office about 15 minutes later. Ben made sure Emily got inside then started to head back to his car.

"Where is she?"

"She'll probably be in the A/V room or your dad's office."

Then Ben left and Emily started for the A/V room which was closer than her dad's office. Sure enough Gillian was sitting in a chair listening to an audio clip.

"Hey Gillian what's up?"

Gillian jumped, she hadn't heard Emily coming, then paused the audio clip and turned to face Emily.

"Whoa are you ok Gillian, you seem a bit off."

"I'm good Em I, well I received a call this evening…Well Emily why don't you come over here and take a seat?"

Emily looked at Gillian in confusion then took a seat next to Gillian.

"Alright you know how we record all of our office phone conversations?"

"Yeah."

"Ok well I received this call from a payphone in London at 6:30. There is no possible way that this was recorded ahead of time or is fake in anyway."

Gillian turned back to the computer, rewound the audio clip then played it. Emily gasped when she heard her father's voice.

"Oh my God! He's alive!…But wait I don't understand you said he was dead."

"I thought he was, everyone did, Em we saw him get shot, we watched him, or so we thought, die. If I had thought at any time that your father was alive I would've sent out a full blown search party to look everywhere, hell I'd probably even have them go to Antarctica."

"Yeah you proabably would, I just can't belive he's alive."

"Yeah, Ben went to the airport to go and pick him up then they'll be here shortly."

All Emily could do was sit there in shock with Gillian, wanting to believe it was true but was cautious not to get her hopes up.

Ben got to the airport at around 7:30, the airport was still abuzz with activity. Ben made his way towards the gates but was stopped by security.

"Sir we're going to need you to step aside. We're going to have to check for any weapons."

"Look, my name is Agent Reynolds with the FBI, my identification is in the inside of my suit pocket. My gun is in a holster opposite of my identification. I'm here to pick up someone who is a major asset to the FBI and by extension the rest of the government. Until recently he has been thought dead, murdered, a year ago tomorrow. Right now this man could be in grave danger, we don't know who's been holding him captive or anything else about his condition. I need you to check my ID let me keep my gun in case something goes bad and let me go and wait for this man. The moment he gets here we'll be gone."

The officers looked at Reynolds suspiciously before taking his ID out and checking it out in their system.

"Alright this is just a quick, easy check question, besides the FBI who else do you work for?"

Ben gave them a look that said 'are-you-really-asking-me-that?' then answered.

"In addition to working with the FBI I work for the Lightman Group."

"Alright you check out all right, you can go on forward."

"Thank you."

Ben took his ID back then headed towards the gates once again. After checking the board he saw that the earliest flight from London to the airport was scheduled to arrive at 8:45. Ben sighed, bought a rediculously expensive magazine then took a seat near gate 9 where Cal was to come out of and waited. At 8:50 the first of the passengers began to pour out of the gate into the reception area. Ben stood up and saw Cal who had seen him first and was making his way towards him. Cal wasn't in the best of shape but he wasn't that bad either, however as Cal got closer Ben noticed a colourful bruise beginning to flower on the side of his face.

" Cal! My God you really are alive!"

"Yeah, I take it you got Emily already and have Zoë under protection?"

"Of course."

"Good, now can we get the hell out of here?"

"Of course."

The pair quickly walked out of the airport, got into Ben's car and started driving.

"Would it be appropiate to say that you look like hell?"

"Do I? I feel worse."

"Do you need to go to the hospital?"

"No but I'd like to stop at my house first then at Gillian's house before we go to the office. I want to get some clothes for us."

"Alright, you mind telling me what happened?"

"Yeah, as of now I do mind, I'll tell you, Gillian and Em when we get back to the office, right now all I want to do is not think for a bloody long time."

Ben just resumed his task of driving and didn't take Cal's harshness personally. He supposed that if he'd been kidnapped, shot and kept away from his family for a year he wouldn't want to do anything for a while either. Once they got to Cal's house Ben parked the car and followed Cal to the door.

"Uh Cal how are you going to get in?"

"I have a spare key, y'know."

"Hey, I've gotta question for you."

"Imagine that."

Cal said as he began rumaging through the bush near the front door for the spare key.

"How'd you get onto the plane in the first place? I mean you'd need a passport, and money."

Cal turned around and smirked.

"Let me guess, you'll tell me when we get to the office."

"Right you are mate."

Cal turned the key and walked into his house. He realized that either Gillian or Emily had been buy to keep it from gathering too much dust but otherwise it was exactly as he'd left it.

"Alright I'll be down in a minute."

Then Cal made his way upstairs and started packing things for both him and Emily. He was done in a matter of minutes as he wasn't really packing with fashion in mind, mainly he was looking for clothes that would be comfortable. Cal went back down the stairs and together he and Ben packed the car and headed out to Gillian's house. Once again Cal found the spare key that Gillian always kept, went upstairs, grabbed some comfortable clothes for Gillian, hesitating slightly before picking out underwear and bras then heading back downstairs, packing up the car and finally heading towards the office. It was 9:45 when Cal finally step foot into the Lightman Group.

"Do you know where they are Ben?"

"I think they're in the A/V room."

"Alright thank you Ben."

"Sure no problem. Y'know Gillian made sure no one touched your office. Only she went in there to clean it."

Cal nodded then made his way to the A/V room with Ben following. When Cal got to the A/V room he saw that both Gillian and Emily were sitting with their backs to him and doing micro expression training using the computer. Cal smiled as he saw the next one flash.

"That one's happiness luv."

Both Emily and Gillian whirled around to see Cal standing in the doorway.

"Dad!"

Emily shouted as she lept up from her chair and half tackled, half hugged Cal.


	6. Chapter 6

Cal smiled and hugged Emily back.

"Hey luv."

After a few seconds Cal realized that Emily was crying and began to gently rub her back like he'd done so many times before when she was upset.

"It's ok luv, I'm here now, and I don't plan on going anywhere anytime soon."

"I know dad, I, I just, we thought you were dead."

Cal looked up at Gillian, asking her silently it Emily had seen the video. Gillian shook her head and Cal thanked her silently.

"C'mon luv let's sit down."

Emily let go of Cal just enough so that they could sit down in. When they sat down Cal moved them so that Emily's head was resting on his chest and his arm around her shoulders, pulling her in close.

"I missed you dad."

"I missed you too luv."

Cal planted a kiss on top her head and gave her a squeeze.

"I really hate to interrupt this but can you tell us what happened Cal?"

Cal looked up at Ben then nodded.

"Well me and Gill were suppose to go for drinks, it had been a bit of a long day and we were going to go and relax. Shortly after Gill left my office I got my coat and headed out to my car. Just as I was about to get into my car I felt a sharp pain in my back and then I blacked out. There were a couple of times when I woke up and struggled, tried to get away but the people who were watching over me had to have been bloody bouncers or something cause they beat me until I fell uncounscious again."

Cal felt Emily stiffen against him and willed himself to have the presence of mind to censor his story.

"I woke up again in a chair, I could just barely make out my captors talking and setting up the video feed. The voice of one of my captors was familiar but it took me a while to place the name and when I did I knew things were not going to go well. The man I recognized was Nick Matthews. Terry got into trouble with him a while back, when I was still in London, and Nick ended up loosing a lot of business and going to jail for a bit. He blamed me for all of it. I blacked out for a bit then woke up again when Gill was talking to Nick. I had no idea what Nick's plans were until after Nick had me stand up and I noticed the doctors standing at the ready. Apparently once Nick found out where I was he started planning and practicing that shot so that he could execute it perfectly."

"So he really did shoot you?"

Ben asked the question and looked in surprise then sadness at Cal's stomach where the bullet had gone in.

"Yeah, as soon as he shot me and the camera zoomed back out the doctors swarmed me. I was only conscious for about two minutes after the doctors came for me, and then I blacked out again. Then for the next couple of months Nick held me captive in a small dingy warehouse room, I had to serve him in anyway he desired. If not then he'd kill Gil and Em."

Gillian stiffened as she saw the expressions on Cal's face. They lasted less than 1/100 of a second, all in a row, pain, sadness, anger, intense disgust, and deep shame. Then his face was blank again. Gillian frowned, Cal was obviously hiding something and leaving parts out of his story and she wondered what could be so bad that he would exhibit those emotions.

"I escaped as soon as I could. Thankfully Nick didn't think that he had to throw away my wallet so I was able to get away from them with all of my information."

"So how did you get a passport and cash to get on a plane, cause I'm pretty sure you didn't have enough cash to get a ticket."

"Well before going to the airport I stopped at an old friend's house. He's good with making passports and so he made me one and gave me some cash. Then I went to the airport and now I'm here."

"What I want to know is how this Nick Matthews guy has the resources and power to pull something like this off. I mean you said he had good doctors waiting for after he shot you. I mean who is this guy, and why now?"

"The last case me and Gill worked had to do with a guy in the FBI who was sending intel and money to the Russian Mafia. Well the guy we caught and were after was one of Nick's guys so it didn't take long for Nick to get a hold of my information and ultimately myself."

"Ok but who is this guy?"

"Nick Matthews is one of the most notorious underground drug/crime lords in all of England and he's working for the Russian Mafia."

"Shit Lightman, the Russian Mafia and a British crime lord! Y'know you have some kind of knack for pissing off the wrong people."

Cal smirked and shrugged.

"It's a gift."

Gillian smiled a little at that, Cal did seem to have a knack for pissing the wrong people off, but that was part of the reason why she loved him. Upon remembering what she was going to tell him that night at the bar Gillian returned her attention to Cal's face. He was looking down at Emily who seemed to have fallen asleep. Gillian wished she had a camera so that she could take a picture, the two Lightmans were so perfect together and Gillian yearned to be apart of something half as good as what Cal and Emily shared.

"Alright well I'm going to go and get a search going on Nick Matthews and then I'll call Ria and Eli to let them know you're alive."

"Alright, and thanks again Ben."

Ben nodded then left the room. As soon as he left Cal turned to Gillian.

"Em's asleep, you mind getting me a pillow and a blanket for her?"

"Sure, if you want we can take her to my office and she can sleep on my couch in there."

"That'd be great luv."

Carefully Cal gathered Emily in his arms and carried her to Gillian's office. Then once they got to Gillian's office he carefully placed her on the couch then gently reached for Gillian's hand and pulled her with him towards his office. Once they were there Cal closed the door behind them, went to his desk, pulled out the bottle of scotch he kept in one of the drawers, opened it, poured two cups and gave one to Gillian. Gillian graciously took the cup and sat down on the bed in Cal's study next to Cal. After taking a swig from the cup in his hand Cal set it down and took Gillian's hand.

"I missed you so much luv."

"I missed you too."

Gillian set her sup down too and Cal leaned in for a much needed embrace. Cal took in the scent of her hair, the way her body felt against his, things he thought he'd never know again. They stayed that way for a while before Cal broke the embrace and took another swig of his scotch.

"Cal?"

"Yes luv."

"What really happened."

Cal looked at her in mock surprise.

"I know what you told us in the A/V room but you were hiding something or things. Now what happened and I want you to tell me the truth and leave nothing out."

Cal looked down at his drink then back at Gillian and nodded, she deserved the truth, even if it pained him to say it.

"Well I didn't really leave anything out until the part about the video feed, I wanna thank you for not showing Em the video."

Gillian nodded then motioned for Cal to go on.

"Well Nick was right about what he told you, that the quickest, easiest and most effective way to hurt me is to hurt you. Seeing you stand there, pain and saddness the only things I could see on your face, it killed me. When I asked you to take care of Emily, the thought of you and her alone, I…I just…I could barely control myself. Then I realized that there was a possibility that Nick would miss and I would never be able to see you again so I decided to show you how I felt about you. I willed all of my defenses away and hoped that you would see. When he shot me, yes I did feel pain, but any pain from the bullet was nothing in comparison to the pain I felt in seeing your face when I was shot. Just the thought of seeing you so sad and in pain hurts me, then knowing that I was the cause of your pain, it hurt me even more. Truth be told once the doctors rushed to me I didn't black out, I was awake the whole time they were taking out the bullet and bandaging me up. Then I was apparently unconscious for a few days. When I woke up Nick had me brought to him. The man who took me to him threw me down to Nick's feet, and it was then that I found out why I was being kept alive. Nick wanted me to use the science to find out who was a police informant, who to buy drugs from, who was loyal and who was trying to double cross him. At first I refused but that ended when he threatened to kill you and Em. My first task came about the next day, there were a few of Nick's crew kneeling on the ground. They were all around the age of 30 except one who could've been no older than 18, a boy really. Nick wanted to know which one was shorting him on his cut of drug money. He was set that it was the boy who was shorting him. After a few minutes of questioning I knew for certain that the boy wasn't the one Nick was after and I told him so. Nick still didn't believe me or just didn't want to and so he pulled his gun out. The boy, thinking that I had some control over whether or not he lived threw himself at my feet and started begging me, to let him live. Nick smiled at me in a way so evil only he could smile that way, and told me to save the boy, obvioiusly I couldn't so I did nothing but stand there. The boy started to cry when Nick put the gun to his head, he kept on begging me to let him live. He told me that he was just trying to make some money to keep him and his mum alive. Then Nick shot him, sending the boys blood and brains flying everywhere and onto me. It was then that I realized that Nick was just playing games with me, sometimes he would use the information I gave him and others he would just kill someone simply because he wanted to. That went on for a while, months actually. They would keep me in a small warehouse room with a cot and a worn blanket, feed me a small me two times a day, and come and get me when Nick wanted me. On one particular day I'd just gotten back to my room after having to witness another execution and had just finished my evening meal, if you could call it that, when Nick called for me. He shouted my name and the man outside my door unlocked the door and shouted for me to come out. I was shoved towards Nick's room, a place I hadn't been, and then finally pushed down to Nick's feet, summoned like a dog. Nick kicked me and told me to get up. I did as I was told, I still had some resistance left in me, but I knew what battles I should fight and which ones I shouldn't and I could tell by the way Nick was acting that then wasn't the time to resist. Anyway shortly after I was called in a girl was brought in. She was no older than 15 years old, blindfolded and obviously being brought against her will. Nick took her blindfold off and she stood there like the frightened little girl she was. She was so scared and reminded me so much of Emily that all I wanted to do was go up and hug her and tell everything was going to be ok, but I knew everything wasn't going to be alright. Nick, looked at me then looked back at the girl and told me that he thought I'd enjoy what he was going to do."

Cal looked away from Gillian again and took a deep, long drink from his scotch.

"Then he…he started to take off her clothes. She fought against him but it did her no good. Nick pinned her down on the bed and resumed taking her clothes off there. I tried to look away but it was then that a man stepped out from the shadows and it seemed that he had orders to make me watch since he grabbed my head with his hands forced me to watch. Once Nick got her out of all of her clothes he held her hands above her head and after positioning himself he slammed into her. This girl was by no means expierenced in anyway and she screamed out in agony every time he pushed into her. See for Nick though it wasn't enough to take her and break her, no he wanted to force her and he wanted her to enjoy it. Make it so that in the end she felt so guilty about actually liking it that she killed herself. Nick knew just how to please his women and then when he was done he put them in a room with a gun and left them there. He did this hundreds of times and no girl lasted more than a day after them being raped before I would hear the gunshot and some of Nick's men would take their dead bodies away. Everytime I heard a scream everytime I saw a girl being raped all I could think about was Emily. Any one of those girls could've been her, and when I'd hear the gun shots, I'd think the same thing. You saw disgust and shame right? Well I'm disgusted with the fact that someone could and would do such a thing to girls no older than 17 and I'm ashamed of myself, I should've tried to stop him. Instead all I did was do as I was told and watch, watch like the sick twisted monster I am. That too carried on for months until one day we were going to be leaving for Russia it was then that I caught my guard by surprise and got away."

Gillian looked at Cal and tried to move so that she could see his face but he wouldn't allow it and shied away from her.

"Cal, Cal look at me."

Reluctantly he did, his beautiful hazel eyes were now a dark green color and he did nothing to hide the shame he felt.

"Cal what happened to those girls, it wasn't your fault. There was no way you could've stopped Nick. He's a sociopath Cal, there is nothing you could've done. Do you understand? Emily is safe and asleep, nothing has happened. Understand?"

Cal nodded.

"Good, because there's something I have to tell you but I won't tell you unless you stop blaming yourself for what happened."

Cal nodded then took a deep breath.

"Alright luv, I'm listening."

"Cal, that night we were going to go out for drinks I made up my mind to tell you something that I think I've felt for a long time. I love you Cal."

Cal's head jerked up in surprise, yes he loved her, he loved her unconditionally but he didn't think that she really cared for him like he did her. When he had made up his mind to tell her before he was kidnapped he had hoped that there was some sliver of hope that she did but then after he had been "dead" for a year he thought that that sliver of hope had dissappeared. Cal smiled then let all of walls down and showed Gillian what she meant to him.

"Gilli."

Gillian's heart fluttered, the sweet, affectionate, and intimate nickname coming from Cal's lips sent the butterflies in her stomach aflutter.

"When I was with Nick you were the only thing that kept me going. There were several times when I had the opportunity to take my life away but the thought of you kept me from literally pulling the trigger plenty of times. I wouldn't be able to live without you. I luv you too, have for a long time now."

Cal smiled then leaned in and kissed her. At first Gillian was surprised but it didn't take her long to respond. The butterflies in her stomach dissappeared and she felt like she was on fire when Cal's tongue dipped into her mouth and began an exploration of her mouth. Gillian moaned then brought her hand up to his hair and began running her fingers through it. Cal brought his hand down to her hip and deepened the kiss, Gillian matching his passion. Then Cal broke the kiss.

"I'm sorry luv."

"What's wrong?"

Cal looked at her then smiled.

"It's not your fault luv. It's just that I'm really tired right now and I don't think I'm up for anything more than that."

Gillian blushed and Cal smiled.

"Here why don't you sleep here, and I'll take the couch."

"You sure luv?"

"Yes, I'll be fine on the couch. You just get some sleep."

Cal smiled as Gillian walked out of his study and to the couch to go to sleep. Surprisingly Cal fell asleep the moment he closed his eyes. Gillian smiled as she heard the soft snoring come from the study, he was fast asleep. However unlike Cal, Gillian could not fall asleep. Everytime she would get close to falling asleep her mind would go back to their kiss, their amazing, passionate, perfect kiss. Gillian shook her head, at this rate she would never fall asleep. After another 5 minutes of tossing and turning Gillian finally fell asleep at 11:30. Things were going smoothly until 2 am.

"No! Stop! Please not her! I'm begging you. Please, I'll do anything!"

Gillian woke with a start, someone was yelling and they sounded close. Then Gillian recognized the voice as Cal's and rushed over to Cal.

"Cal! Cal! Wake up! Wake up!"

Gillian gently shook Cal and he woke with a start, jolting up to a sitting position, looking around frantically.

"Cal, it's me Gillian. Everything's ok, you're on your bed in your study. It's ok."

Cal looked at Gillian and visibly relaxed.

"What was that?"

"Nightmare. I usually get em at least 3 times a night now, I have two main ones that I keep going back to."

"Do you want to tell me what they're about?"

"You wouldn't want to know luv."

"Now there you'd be wrong. If something's wrong I want to know."

Cal took in her determined form and sighed.

"What time is it luv?"

"Around 2 in the morning."

Cal nodded.

"Well that's the longest I've gone without waking up in a long time…Remember the girls I told you about and what Nick did to them?"

"Yes."

"Well in one nightmare the girl is Em and in the other the girl is you."

Gillian was so shocked at first she didn't know how to respond.

"Oh Cal."

Then Gillian hugged him, pulling him in close.

"Mmmmmm."

"What?"

"Just you being here calms me down luv."

They stayed there for a bit before Cal laid back down. Gillian made to get back up but Cal caught her hand.

"Stay?"

It was a question. He wasn't demanding he was simply asking, it was up to Gillian if she wanted to. Gillian smiled before pushing back the covers and crawling into the bed with Cal.


	7. Chapter 7

**Me: Heyyy everyone!**

**Cal: Yes hello…it's been a very long time…**

**Me: -_- Yeah well as I'm sure you know Cal I caught a very nasty case of writers block on this story and I didn't want to ruin it so I put it on hold. It was really annoying as I was typing away and then BAM! All of a sudden I didn't know what to write next.**

**Cal: Yeah well hopefully they forgive you. **

**Me: Well this chappie is for smut lovers as a very good portion of it is smut… this story is rated M for a reason (smut, rape[what Nick did] and anything else that may come up)**

**Cal: *eyes twinkle* *It's about time I get some time with Gillian!*…Anyway the author of this story does not own Lie To Me or any of its characters.**

**Me: Enjoy!**

The next morning Cal woke up to the strawberry scent of Gillian's shampoo. Slowly Cal opened his eyes and for a moment was surprised. Gillian's arm was draped over his shoulders, her head nestled on his chest, her body completely flush against his, and her legs…Cal's eyes widened as she moved a little in her sleep, causing the leg that was situated between his legs to rub against a now very sensitive region.

"Fuck."

Cal whispered, the movement was torture to Cal, especially as her leg remained in the same place. He wanted to both wake her up and rip her clothes off and get up and take a cold shower to get a hold of himself at the same time. Just then Gillian woke up to the warm feeling of another body against her's. She knew right away who's body it was, even though they'd never been this close to each other before there was no mistaking that the warm, sexy body she'd woken up to belonged to Cal. She opened her eyes to see Cal looking down at her. She smiled at him and he returned the smile, but she noticed something was off in his eyes.

"What's wrong?"

"Define wrong."

Gillian looked at Cal in confusion.

"Well I don't know, there's something off about your eyes."

"That would make sense."

"Go on."

"Well you see luv right now I am both the happiest man alive and the most tortured man alive."

"How so?"

Just then Gillian moved again, causing her thigh to once again rub against him. Cal's eyes bulged and his breath hitched. Gillian finally realized what was causing Cal so much trouble.

"Oh, so that's what was up."

Cal just nodded, fighting to control himself. Gillian seemed to notice the internal battle that was raging inside Cal and so she decided to help him out. Smiling Gillian rubbed her thigh against him again making Cal gasp then leaned up and kissed Cal. Mentally Cal was stunned but Cal's body had no trouble keeping up with Gillian and the moment her lips were on his their tongues were dueling. Gillian moved so that she was straddling Cal and began to work to get his shirt off. Cal didn't hesitate in starting to unbutton Gillian's shirt.

"Cal, wait."

"What's wrong luv?"

"Should we be doing this? I mean here, in the office, what if someone-

"Hears us?"

Cal smiled then brought her down for a kiss after succeeding in removing both her shirt and bra.

"Luv I thought I told you before. My study is soundproof."

"Oh. Well then…"

Cal smiled then moved his lips from hers and moved to her neck. After a few seconds Cal stopped and looked Gillian in the eyes.

"If you're not comfortable doing this here luv we can stop. I don't want to make you uncomfortable luv."

Gillian smiled even now when she could feel he was hard, feel that he wanted this just as much as she did, he wanted to make sure she was ok with what they were doing, and if she wasn't then he was willing to stop. In response to Cal she reached down and cupped the bulge in his pants making him groan into her shoulder.

"I'm perfectly fine with continuing."

Cal looked up from her shoulder and smiled.

"Good."

Gillian let out a gasp as Cal flipped them so that he was on top. She quickly regained her composure as she ground her hips into his and revelled in the way he shivered with arousal. Cal bent his head and took one of her erect nipples into his warm mouth. Gillian let out a moan as he lavished her with his tongue. After several minutes of Cal's nice hot tongue twirling around her nipples and his warm mouth sucking on her breasts gently he brought his mouth back to her neck. Gillian was thoroughly enjoying the feel of Cal's tongue on her neck and the way each time he nipped at her neck shivers of delight went down her spine. However she wanted to have some fun too. Gillian reached down and cupped the bulge in his pants once again and was rewarded by a groan of pleasure from Cal. She pushed on him and rolled them over so that she was straddling him again.

"Like it on top eh luv?"

Gillian smirked as she ground her hips down on him, illiciting another groan of pleasure. Then she moved so that she had just enough room to remove his pants and boxer-briefs then removed the remainder of her clothing. Both Cal and Gillian let out sighs as she guided him inside of her. Cal smiled at how wet, more like at how soaked she was.

"You get this wet for Alec?"

Gillian blushed as she started rocking back and forth on his cock.

"No, just you."

As much as Cal liked being dominant he figured he could handle letting Gillian be on top every once in a while especially since he could gaze up at her beautiful face and watch as she concentrated on her movements and on him. Gillian's hands were on his stomach and his hands were at her breasts, pinching and fondling, encouraging her to keep going. Cal closed his eyes and savored everything, the feel of her around him, the smells, and the beautiful sounds she was making as he thrusted to her rhythm. Then after a bit longer Cal could feel his orgasm coming and could hear Gillian's on its way as her breath and movements turned erratic. Cal opened his eyes and the sight of Gillian's face, completely unguarded and that of total pleasure, knowing he was the reason she was feeling the way she was, was to much for Cal.

"Damn, Gilli, I'm going to…"

Gillian let out a moan of pleasure as her orgasm washed over her and she gripped his sides as her orgasm hit her hard. Cal swore as he came, emptying his pleasure and seed deep inside her. Gillian collapsed on top of Cal and he held her tight against him.

"Alright luv?"

Gillian smiled and began distributing light butterfly kisses on his chest.

"Mmmmmmm I feel great, no better, I feel amazing. Cal you're amazing."

Cal smiled and kissed the top of her head. They stayed that way for a while before Gillian lifted her head up from Cal's chest.

"They'll be expecting us outside soon. Reynolds will probably want you to tell him as much as you can about Nick."

"They haven't gone pounding on the door yet have they?"

"We wouldn't know seeing as you said this room was soundproof."

Cal gave her a look that said are-you-really-going-to-make-us-get-up? Gillian smiled then kissed him passionately on the lips. Cal smiled then flipped them so that he was on top. He then procceeded to gently suck on her nipples.

"Cal."

Cal ignored her and continued his administrations.

"Cal!"

"Yes luv?"

"Cal, we're suppose to be getting ready to go see Reynolds, Ria, Emily, and Eli."

Cal looked up briefly and gave her a are-you-serious look.

"Are you saying you'd rather be out **there** talking with them then in **here **with me?"

"No, Cal you know I'd rather be in here with you but I also want to help Reynolds get that bastard Nick and I know you do too. Besides we're going to be here all night tonight anyways, I'll make it up to you then."

Cal sighed, gave Gillian one last kiss on her lips before he got off of her and went to go get some clothes from the bags he'd brought.

"I brought some clothes for you too luv. I figured we wouldn't be leaving here for a while so I had Reynolds make a few side trips on our way here from the airport."

"Thank you Cal."

"No problem luv."

Gillian walked over to the bags where Cal was and started sorting through the clothes to find something to wear.

"Hey Cal?"

"Yes luv?"

"What should we do about the staff?"

"What about them?"

"Well I mean should we tell them about us?"

"No, not yet at least. The last thing I want is for Loker to think that everytime we went to each other's office and closed the door that we'd be in each other's pants."

Gillian raised an eyebrow.

"But that's exactly what your planning on doing isn't it?"

Cal smiled mischieviously and his eyes twinkled.

"That doesn't mean that I want Loker to know that."

Gillian rolled her eyes.

"Should we tell anyone?"

"Emily'll already know. The moment we walk out of this room she'll know something's up. She's always been so damn perceptive. Sometimes I wonder if I've created a monster, but don't worry luv. As excited as she'll be that we're together she won't give anything away."

"Well Cal, she is your daughter. She grew up with the science, you couldn't have expected her not to no anything."

"I know, I know, she's handled it fairly well though, the knowledge that is. Y'know she's really good at knowing when it's good to lie and when she should tell the truth."

Cal's face showed nothing but pride for his daughter as he pulled a long sleeve shirt over his head then put on a pair of jeans. Gillian put on a nice light blue blouse that brought out her eyes and a pair of jeans. Then once they were all set they walked out of Cal's office and over to the conference room where Reynolds was probably waiting for them. Sure enough as Cal opened the door for Gillian and followed her inside they were met with Ria, Eli, Ben and Emily. Emily immediately got up and hugged her dad good morning, she did the same with Gillian then stepped back.

"It's about time Dad."

"About time for what luv?"

"It was about time you woke up. I mean seriously Dad it's like 11:30 and you never sleep past 5."

Neither Cal nor Gillian missed the double meaning to Emily's words. It's about time Dad, _It's about time you and Gillian got together._ It was about time you woke up…_It's about time you guys opened your eyes to your feelings for each other._

"Well luv I've had a rather tiring year."

"I know I'm just glad you're back Dad."

A/N: Sooooo what did you think? I've got more chappies coming, although I don't exactly know how quickly I'll get them up but I figured I'd get something up for you guys to read if you still want to. So yeah your reviews keep me going and while I won't say I need _x_ number of reviews before another chappie comes out they do make me write/type faster. Everytime I see a review it's like Christmas or my birthday. Also if you have any ideas for the story let me know and I'll see what I can do …..VIVA CALLIAN!


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